Warning: This is a very long post but I think it is worth it.
Okay so my friend over at
Signs, Miracles, and Wonders is hosting a
100th post giveaway. Well let me start with you if you need an uplifting blog go check out this blog. It has Gods amazing hand in it. When you read her posts like
Learning my ABC’s or the
100 Things about God, you see God's love and the love that she has for God.
Okay now back to the giveaway. The rules of the giveaway state that you are suppose to write a post about a sign, miracle or wonder in my life. So here I go….
Well I know that God has done miraculous things in my life. Look around and you see HIM everywhere. But the greatest thing that comes to my mind is my husband and children. I met my husband at church. Nope there was no exciting clubbing experience, no accidental meeting at the park, no fix up. I saw him playing guitar up on stage at my church and asked a friend of mine (I babysat for this friend) who he was I thought he was HOT! Well the said friend then proceeded to tell RC “Some girl in the back of the church thinks you’re hot!” That was it. He didn’t tell him who or any more specific as to the where. A couple of weeks later he saw me at a church softball game. He asked about me and my best friend. Well to make a long story just a little shorter we started dating. Not everyone was thrilled with us dating but I truly felt Gods hands at work. Now I am married to a man who is not perfect but that loves God, loves me and loves our children. We fight, we yell, we cry, we get so angry at each other but then God reminds us that he ordained our marriage and who are we to second guess his mighty work!
In March of 2002 I became a mother. I gave birth to my little wonder. He was a miracle. To watch something that God created using the love of my husband and I grow within me, wow I know of no greater wonder. Then to have someone who relies completely and totally on you for their everything there are no words to describe. This is how we are suppose to rely on God. We are suppose to come to him with faith like children. I don’t think I understood this until I realized just how much faith my child had in me to protect, feed, nurture and just plain love him. He is now six and becoming more independent but as I watch him grow God just amazes me more and more. Last year my baby chose to accept God as his Lord and Savior. Wow a mother’s heart just bursts with true joy when you know that you will spend eternity worshiping God with you child because they chose to believe as well. (Let me clarify – I believe that should my other children go today, they too would go be with the Lord because they do not have a clear understanding of what it means for God to be their personal savior. It is my job to teach them. They know God. They pray to God, no not the practiced prayer, but their own words. It’s just not personal to them yet. It states in 1 John that God knows our heart. He knows when it is that we reach an age that it is rejecting God.)
In September of 2003 God blessed me with another beautiful baby boy. This was just as miraculous as the first. My biggest fear during this pregnancy was would I have enough love for more than one child. OH yes oh yes oh yes I do. Once again the wonder was there for me. I knew once again that this how we are suppose to go to God, trusting and whole-heartedly relying on him. That awe was there and then I went some place dark. Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, post partum depression is real!!! I didn’t understand how I could love my children one minute and then the next minute be thinking thoughts that well I will just spare you on. How could I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had blessed me so amazingly with my family and yet be so dark. Many of you just don’t know how dark things got. Well I must tell you God is my strength. He placed people in my life that helped me to get the help I needed. Yes it was bad enough that I had to go on anti-depressants. (Let me tell you, there is nothing to be ashamed about having to use these. And anyone out there who thinks differently shame on you! Depression is an illness. You wouldn’t look down on someone who has heart problems for taking medicine to help them and you shouldn’t now.) Sorry just something that I felt I must throw in there. I was on the medicine for less than a year and God worked me to a new place that I no longer needed them. Now my little man is 4 ½ and he just graduated from preschool. He has an amazing heart. He is stubborn and hard headed but so am I. As I watch him grow each day well my love for him grows each day. I look forward to seeing what an amazing God fearing (this is my prayer) young man my son will become. But the most important thing is I am celebrating the journey as we go.
Then much to my surprise in March 2006 along came my 3rd son. He is lively and vivacious. He has a smile that will melt your heart. I was in completely awe with God because once again my love just overflowed for yet another child. I had a few complications at the end of my pregnancy. I broke my leg just 2 weeks before he was born. I delivered him with a bright lime green cast on. The nastiness that came out with him (it’s that m word mecconium I think all I know is my mom said it was nasty). He had the cord wrapped around his neck. My heart sank when out he came and there was no cry like before. They rushed him over under the lights (now I know it was to clean out the lungs and that they didn’t want him to cry to keep the stuff out of his lungs) to work on my baby. I laid there in tears asking my mom and my husband why isn’t he crying what’s wrong? They assured me that it was okay and God’s peace washed over me. I truly felt it start at the top of my head and go to the tips of my toes. Let me tell you I see every day God’s wonder with my little man. He is now 2 and growing like a weed. There is nothing more spectacular than to watch you child discover new things everyday. He learns new words everyday. He tries to do everything his big brother’s do.
Then in November 2007 came my beautiful little girl. As you can imagine this was my biggest shock yet. I truly had prepared my heart for it to be a boy and so I cried when the ultrasound technician told me it was going to be a girl. Once again there were more complications. This time the complications came after she was born. She had a very severe case of jaundice. I found out after the case just how severe it really was. You see God spared me parts of the details that at the time I thought I needed to know but God new that my heart and mind couldn’t handle all the details. All I know is that I felt God’s hand there watching over my sweet baby as I looked in at her sleeping in a box under the bright lights. This was the first time that my baby wasn’t allowed to sleep in the room with me. I could only feed her through the box. It was so difficult. My heart ached to be able to hold my sweet angel. I feel so wrong putting this up there considering I have a friend whose child was born at 28 weeks. They couldn’t have their baby leave the hospital with them. They just celebrated her reaching 6lbs 6oz out 3 months. But that is truly how I felt. I just didn’t understand it. The thing is I had this thing that some don’t. I have a PERSONAL relationship with God and could and can go to him and pour my heart out. I can tell him I hurt and I’m angry and he listens and then comforts me. She is six months old today. She is thriving and growing like a weed. She is a true gift from God.
Wow I have to say thank you to Amy for this giveaway. I needed this amazing reminder of just what a blessed woman I am. God is doing great things in my life and I get to celebrate each step. I see His amazing hand at work with every breath I breathe and with every step I take. I hope you will take the time to reflect on the signs, miracles and wonders. Have a blessed day!!!!!
