Stresses vs. positives

Okay so I have decided that I have to put this somewhere! I am not super woman!!! I cannot stop two speeding trains from crashing into one another. I actually feel like the trains have crashed and I was in between them when they hit! I am exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically. When asked last night if I am hanging in there, I just started crying and said no. I am challenging myself that for every negative or stress I put on here I will try to match it with a positive.

Okay my stresses…
A) AC has been sick with pneumonia
B) We had to take him to the hospital
C) We have no insurance for the kids because I keep getting pushed around by Florida Kidcare
D) Trace is beginning to cough and run a low fever
E) Andrew is coughing
F) How are we going to pay for the dentist for AC?
G) How are we going to pay for the hospital bill, which I’m sure is going to be very expensive?
H) Is my pregnancy really going okay? (They had to take my blood pressure twice at my last doctors appointment)
I) I am having nightmares
J) I am not sleeping (between sick kids, nightmares, and being a mom)
K) AC started Kindergarten today.
L) I want out of the apartment and into a house (a two bedroom apartment is really too small for a soon to be family of six)
M) Am I really going to be able to handle 4 children?
N) I have to deal with the drama going on with others.

Okay Okay I have to quit there or I am going to spiral into tears again.

The positives…
A) I have God on my side.
B) AC is feeling better
C) We know what is wrong and can treat the problem.
D) We caught Trace’s right on the onset so we can treat it.
E) Andrew is only coughing no fever, hopefully we can treat it without him getting any fever.
F) So far RC and I haven’t come down with anything.
G) God is the provider. He will provide a way to get AC’s dentist bill taken care of as well as the ER bill.
H) I have family willing to take the kids so I can get some rest.
I) AC started kindergarten today! ( Yes I know this is on both lists, that’s because it is both a stress and a positive)
J) I have a roof over my head and my family is fed.
K) I have a loving husband that provides for my family and even though he doesn’t always get it he tries so hard to be supportive of my fears and stresses.
L) Children are a blessing from God and I know that God must think I’m doing something right or he wouldn’t have given me another blessing.
M) I have 3 beautiful well behaved (atleast most of the time) little boys.
N) I have a girl on the way!
O) I have friends and family that I can deal with their drama. Cause the only way to get rid of the drama would be to get rid of the friends and family.
P) I have a church family, that loves and cares for me and my family.
Q) I am breathing!
R) God loves me!
S) The sun rose again today!
T) There is God’s beauty all around me.
U) I have an amazing support system.
V) Even when I have my nightmares my husband holds me. (Even if I do wake him up at 4:30am)
W) I am healthy and the doctor says my pregnancy is going well.
X) My children love to sing!
Y) My kids smile each and every day!
Z) God is on my side!!!

Wow! I came up with more positives than negatives. Isn’t God good!